Inquisitor
08-25-2002, 06:48 PM
Bill Clinton Virus:- Gives you a 3-inch hard drive, then won't allow you to query the system for information.
Hillary Clinton Virus:- Files vanish, only to mysteriously reappear a year later, but in a different directory.
George Bush Virus:- It starts by boldly stating, "Read my docs....No new files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus.
Congressional Virus:- The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Congressional Virus #2:- Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
Politically Correct Virus:- Never identifies itself as a 'virus'. Instead, it refers to itself as a 'electronic microorganism'.
Monica Lewinsky Virus: - Will suck all the memory out of your computer and then email everyone about what it did.
Ronald Reagan Virus:- Saves all your data, then forgets where it is stored.
Viagra Virus:- Will make a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
Ellen DeGeneres Virus:- Your IBM suddenly claims to be a MAC and disks can no longer be inserted.
Spice Girls Virus:- Has no real function, but does make an attractive desktop.
Disney Virus:- Everything in your computer goes Goofy.
Titanic Virus:- Your whole computer goes down.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus:- Terminates and stays resident. IT WILL BE BACK.
Martha Stewart Virus:- Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop.
Hillary Clinton Virus:- Files vanish, only to mysteriously reappear a year later, but in a different directory.
George Bush Virus:- It starts by boldly stating, "Read my docs....No new files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus.
Congressional Virus:- The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Congressional Virus #2:- Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
Politically Correct Virus:- Never identifies itself as a 'virus'. Instead, it refers to itself as a 'electronic microorganism'.
Monica Lewinsky Virus: - Will suck all the memory out of your computer and then email everyone about what it did.
Ronald Reagan Virus:- Saves all your data, then forgets where it is stored.
Viagra Virus:- Will make a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
Ellen DeGeneres Virus:- Your IBM suddenly claims to be a MAC and disks can no longer be inserted.
Spice Girls Virus:- Has no real function, but does make an attractive desktop.
Disney Virus:- Everything in your computer goes Goofy.
Titanic Virus:- Your whole computer goes down.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus:- Terminates and stays resident. IT WILL BE BACK.
Martha Stewart Virus:- Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop.